Friday, March 27, 2015

Letting Go.

It's always hard to let go of certain things.
Today I went into my closet and finally took some old dress clothes out, a suit, two pairs of pants and a couple of shorts.
The suit, a single breasted Ralph Lauren was the suit I bought to go to my brother in law Pascal's wedding. it was a replacement for an even older suit (me being a guy who hates clothes shopping) that was so old that had I held onto it 5 more years, it would have come back into style. I tried it on to see how big it was, if it could be salvaged or altered and it wrapped around me almost twice. I looked at the tag on the jacket, because I had to have it altered because it was too big for me a few years ago.
It was a 56 Regular.
I'm still a little in shock. The pant's are huge, the other pairs, while not quite as big are still too big. So I added them all to the pile of clothing to be donated.
I'm still not used to the "new" me.I've basically lost the equivalent of a 12 year old boy from my body. When I was bigger, I felt like there was a layer of security to it. I was invisible in certain ways because people didn't expect much from a fat guy. Then I would surprise them with my strength and endurance. I felt a layer of protection of the world, imagined of course. I never let my weight stop me from achieving all of the things I've done in my life. I traveled the world, I dated and eventually married beautiful women, I felt some level of confidence that I could hold my own.
I also didn't take photos of myself.
I hated looking at myself in the mirror.
I hid behind a layer of fat.
I let my worse habits (workaholic, overeater, depression) take over my life
Now, whatever confidence i feel comes from a different place. I'm active on a level that I haven't been since I was in my twenties. It's nice to be able to walk into a store and buy clothing straight off the rack. it doesn't change who I've always been.
Blessed to be a good husband to a beautiful woman, a good father to a beautiful child and hopefully a good friend and a good man.
So today I begin the process of saying a final goodbye to that part of me, and embracing what I've become and where I'm heading to.
I don't know where the destination will lead me, and it will be a lifelong road towards health and happiness. I'm on it now, and I refuse to turn back.

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About Me

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One of the most popular and prolific pencillers in the comic book industry, Jamal Igle is an award winning artist and writer. Best known for his run on Supergirl with writer Sterling Gates, Jamal has been a professional jack of all trades for nearly 20 years, drawing every title from Action Comics to Zatanna for DC Comics. A former comics retailer, Editor for several small press companies including TV Comics, Airwave Comics and Destination Entertainment. Former Junior Art Director and Marketing rep in the Advertising and publishing arenas. Jamal's clients include Marvel Comics, image Comics, Dark Angel productions/ Simmons and Company, Devil's Due Studios, Crusade Entertainment, Walt Disney inc., Sony Television, CBS Television and Scholastic Entertainment. Jamal has also worked as a conceptional artist for the Toy and gaming industries as well as film and television. Jamal is married to his beautiful, and much smarter wife Karine.They're also the proud parents of an extremely cute child named Catherine and a Cat named Loustique